Some people have cereal. Others have toast. But you can’t beat a slice of moral indignation to set you up for the day.
“Who drank all that beer Mummy? Where has it gone?”
The empty beer cans in question have been of keen interest to Raffie, who is currently setting a shining example to us all when it comes to recycling.
There’s nothing quite like seeing the remains of your indulgence scattered all over the carpet. It’s a stark reminder that you really should have bothered to put the recycling out before going to bed.
Two empty cans of lager were all that Daddy had left behind the previous night. I think this is perfectly reasonable on a Friday night. Raffie, however, had other ideas.
“Daddy, you’re a beer monster! Ha ha! A beer monster, grrrr!”
Poor Daddy. Teetering on the edge of mortification, he could only reply that the only monster was in fact Raffie, who this week proclaimed himself a Biscuit Monster.
Raffie leaves the cans well alone but gets busy scattering paper, card (and anything else which has been bagged up by Mummy) far and wide.
He then gets on with his shopping, which entails taking all kinds of perishables out of the fridge, wheeling them to the front room, and then selling them back to me at extortionate prices.
I am all for doing my bit but Raffie has found a kindred spirit in his great-grandmother, who is a meticulous recycler, re-using whatever she can and putting us all to shame.
This week he discussed his techniques at great length with her. I was asked to leave the room, which tells me all I need to know about my own efforts.
“We’re talking Mummy, about the bins. It’s very serious.”
It is true. For them, it is no laughing matter. But the weekly visit from the bin men always brings out a smile in Raffie, waving madly at them and banging on the window.
This week our bin man was smoking a cigarette while nobly winkling the contents out of our food waste bin and into the hopper. “Mummy what’s that in his mouth?” said Raffie.
Not wanting to open this can of worms just yet, I floundered with the reply of “Oh it’s a lollipop Raffie.” And it was then that a new idea was born. “He looks like he’s enjoying his lollipop Mummy, I think when I’m older I would like to be a bin man.”
But whether fulfils his new career ambition, or consigns it to the dustbin of history next week, for Daddy’s sake we’ll start putting the beer cans out before morning.
I discovered Mummy’s Little Monkey this week and am very glad I did, it’s a lovely blog and you can read more here http://www.mummyslittlemonkey.com/ or on Twitter @Jax2000